Baby Boomer Babbling-er-Musings

I'm from the baby boomer generation. I have a mop of white hair, courtesy of my gene pool. And a botox-free face that sports frown lines in the forehead and around the eyes. Love handles instead of a waistline. Can't say I'm exactly crazy about any of these old age indicators but I accept them with grace. And now I've lived long enough now that I ponder on a lot of things, new and old.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Shot Through the Heart (by Cupid’s Arrow)

The day of the year when Cupid and his arrows-of-love will reign supreme is due to arrive on February 14th.  For weeks now every store has had displays of candy and cards and balloons and cuddly animals holding stuffed hearts with messages of love on them.  No one could possibly miss the fact that the official day of love is at hand!

      I am reminded of those Valentine’s days in my other life - that long ago time when I was married for the first time at a too-young age to a boy who was so wrong for me on so many levels.  When the holiday of love rolled around, I wanted and needed that confirmation of his love.  From the start it was of mega importance that just the right gifts were presented – a card proclaiming his undying love and a box of expensive chocolates and outrageously priced roses.  It was an assurance that the marriage was on solid ground.  But it never really was.

      Taking into account my youthful immaturity along with the shaky foundation of our marriage, well more was the pity for my unfortunate first husband if he didn’t deliver a card that was romantic enough or a box of candy that was big enough or a bouquet of roses that numbered a dozen or more.  I was insecure about our relationship so consequently I desperately needed affirmation of love on Valentine’s Day.

      Let’s fast forward to my current life.  Those who know me also know that the second time around I found the right man and was mature enough to appreciate having a second chance at true love.  Monty and I exchange cards on February 14th but we haven’t bought each other Valentine’s gifts in years.  Not because we have become complacent – that is the farthest thing from the truth.  After twenty-five years together we are blessed to still be in love.  Our only long-standing argument is about “who loves you more”.

      I don’t expect or need flowers for Valentine’s Day.  But it was lovely last week when Monty surprised me with a hand-picked bouquet of wild flowers and said, “Pretty flowers for my pretty girl.”    

      I don’t need a big box of Godiva chocolates but I do love it when he occasionally buys a bag of my favorite Hershey’s kisses and holds it behind his back.  “Who wants kisses?’  

      I have many friends with great marriages and I applaud the fact that their husbands further show their love and affection with Valentine’s gifts.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little extra love on February 14th!  Monty even did all those things for me early in our relationship.  Eventually I asked him to stop the gifts on Valentine’s Day because the practical side of me thinks that roses are too expensive and will eventually die.  The candy just expands my waistline even further so please don’t tempt me!  Since we stopped that tradition, he has asked me every single February if I’m still sure I don’t want flowers and candy.  My response is always, “No, but if I ever do want it, then you will know that something is wrong!” 

            My personal epiphany about love is that receiving gifts on a single day of the year is not nearly as important as feeling loved each and every day of the year.  When I met Monty, Cupid’s arrow hit me square in the heart and it has never dislodged.  I know I am loved and that I am loved well.

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